


Another way

by Mollygail



Category: White Collar
Genre: Gen, Neal's mother is not a bad person, Not canon compliant after season five
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:16:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25537933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mollygail/pseuds/Mollygail
Summary: Neal likes to say, 'there's always another way.' In this story, he finds an alternative to faking his death.
Comments: 26
Kudos: 57





	1. A Turning Point

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for this story being a little 'all over the place'. But, isn't that the way life is? We all have more than one thing going on in our lives at any given time. I did consider making this a two-part story but I'm having too much fun just letting it flow.

Neal closed his door as an unhappy Mozzie exited into the hallway. He understood that Mozzie had been worried about him and wanted to hear all about what had happened, but Neal just needed some time alone. He turned around and leaned against the door, feeling a deeper sense of defeat than he’d felt since his last ‘visit’ to prison. He forced himself to breathe past the lump in his throat and the tightness in his chest as he pushed himself away from the door. 

The last few days had been so stressful. Days? No, he’d had a few extremely stressful weeks. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last carefree day he’d had. He ran his fingers through his hair as he walked over to the table and grabbed the half-full wine bottle. His mouth twisted in a bitter imitation of a smile. The bottle was half-empty if it was being consumed, he thought as he lifted the bottle to his lips and took a swig. He sighed and carried the bottle with him into the bathroom. He needed a shower to wash away the sweat he’d worked up as he dealt with being kidnapped. 

His clothes landed in an uncharacteristic pile in the corner before he stepped into the shower. He adjusted the water temperature to as hot as he could stand. As he washed, a jumble of thoughts and emotions fought for space in his head. 

Mozzie: _“Guys like us don’t get happy endings.”_

Hagen: _“You’ll do what I want, or I’ll send this video to your FBI handler, and you’ll go back to prison.”_

Elizabeth: _“Do what you have to do to get Peter out of prison, or you’ll join him in there.”_

Peter: _“You let me down…you’re a criminal…I shouldn’t have forgotten that…”_

He shut off the water and toweled himself off. Wearing the towel low around his hips, he headed for his dressing room with the bottle of wine in his hand. He took another swig of wine as he surveyed the closet full of clothes, borrowed clothes that had belonged to a dead man. Sure, June had given them to him, but they weren’t really his, he thought as he grabbed a pair of faded jeans which he’d bought on impulse at the thrift store. He put on the jeans and then shrugged into a faded black t-shirt with a picture of the St. Louis arch on the front. 

He walked into his living room and flopped down onto his couch. He should probably eat something…He took another swig of wine instead. 

His life wasn’t really his own. Everyone owned a piece of him, each pulling their own set of strings trying to make him dance to their own tune. Hagen might be gone, but there were others still trying to control him. He felt like a marionette being whirled out of control, while the puppet masters failed to see the approaching disaster. 

Neal knew he had to cut all the strings and take back control of his life. But, how could he do that without hurting people? He had considered faking his death but couldn’t seem to work out all the complications in the plan. If he faked his death so that his body disappeared, Peter would never believe he was dead. If he somehow only appeared to be dead, Peter would want an autopsy.

Maybe faking his death wouldn’t be necessary if he tried to help the FBI take down the Panthers. If he double-crossed the Panthers, his death would most likely be real. But at this point, could he refuse to help catch the Panthers? He knew he had a right to refuse to go undercover if he felt his life would be endangered, but the Feds wouldn’t be happy about it. 

Neal wasn’t stupid; he knew how badly the Feds wanted to catch the Panthers. Maybe he could use this situation to his own advantage. Neal paused with the wine bottle half-way to his lips. Maybe…help the Feds get what they wanted in exchange for what he wanted.

He set the bottle on the coffee table and got off the couch to talk to June. He knocked on the open door of her parlor to get June’s attention.

“Neal, dear,” June said as she saw him standing in the doorway. “Come in and sit down. Is everything all right? Can I get you anything?”

“I’m fine, June…I was just wondering if you could arrange an appointment for me with your lawyer.”

“Of course. But I thought Mozzie was your lawyer. He might not like you talking to someone else. He was so worried about you when you were kidnapped.”

“I know, June. And I appreciate all he’s done for me. But I don’t want to ask for his help with this.”

“What is it, Neal? You know I will respect your privacy.”

“Well, you know I was kidnapped by a pathetic excuse for a criminal who wanted my help to get him into the Pink Panthers, right?”

“Yes, as if someone who couldn’t get in without help is good enough to run with the Panthers. Pathetic indeed.”

“Right. But, here’s the thing…the FBI would like me to help them catch the Panthers. Here’s what I’ve been thinking. I would agree to help them if they would agree to release me from the rest of my sentence. Would your lawyer help me draw up a contract? I want an iron-clad agreement that they can’t worm their way out of.”

“I’ll give him a call right this minute,” June said as she reached for the phone.

“Thank you, June.”

Neal listened while June spoke with the lawyer and stressed the urgency of the situation. He didn’t want to get into an undercover situation without assurances that it would be worth the risk. 

June ended her phone call and informed him that the lawyer would be arriving in less than an hour. “Perhaps you should go change your clothes, dear.”

Neal looked down at the clothes he was wearing and nodded his head. “I’ll go change and be right back. Thank you, June.”

June stood up and walked over to Neal, and hugged him. “While you change, I’ll have Marie fix you a little something to eat.” She stepped back and gave him a gentle push toward the door. 

********************

Neal explained to June’s lawyer why he needed a contract drawn up and what he wanted in the contract; his freedom in exchange for his assistance in capturing the Panthers.

The lawyer, Mr. Hanson, nodded as he took notes. When Neal finished his explanation, Mr. Hanson made a startling suggestion. 

“Mr. Caffrey, in my opinion, you’re not asking for enough in return for your help. The Panthers are on the most wanted list of more than just the FBI. This is not just a local petty-crime ring. They are wanted by nearly every country in Europe as well as some in Asia. It would be a huge arrest for the FBI. I honestly think you can get more than just your freedom.”

“How much more?”

“Well, I don’t think a pardon would be too much to ask for.”

Neal sat back in his chair with a stunned look on his face. “A pardon? But, if I have my freedom, a pardon is just a technicality, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s more than a technicality. With a pardon, you’d have your voting rights restored, and you’d be able to obtain a legal passport. Also…I don’t want to offend you, but I’ve known June for a long time, and when you first moved in here I did a background check on you.”

Neal nodded in understanding. He was glad June had someone looking out for her to protect her from unscrupulous conmen. “A background check would be the sensible thing to do in the situation. So, what are you getting at here?”

“You were convicted of bond forgery, but you were suspected for a lot of other things. I would suggest that you request a pardon for all crimes, known and unknown. They may not agree to it, but it’s worth a shot. You were never suspected of anything violent, so they might consider it.”

June leaned over and put her hand on Neal’s arm to get his attention. “Neal, dear, there’s something else you might want to consider. The Panthers are a very powerful gang, and they are known to take revenge against anyone who crosses them. I’m concerned about your safety. It might be wise to ask for some sort of protection.”

“I’m not going into witness protection if that's what you're suggesting, June. Been there, done that.”

“Of course, but I wasn’t thinking of official witness protection. I just thought that perhaps a new name wouldn’t be a bad idea. A legal name change would make it harder for the Panthers to find you if they were to escape. It would be sort of like do-it-yourself witness protection.”

“But if they get away, the FBI won’t have to honor this contract anyway.” Neal shrugged and shook his head. He thought gloomily that he’d be a sitting duck in his two-mile radius if the Panthers got away.

The lawyer quickly scribbled more notes on his paper. “We’ll need to make specific stipulations as to who needs to be arrested for the contract to be fulfilled.”

“Woodford is the leader. He has several men working closely with him, but he calls the shots. If some of the others escape, they won’t be nearly as powerful without Woodford.”

“Ok,” the lawyer said without looking up from his note-taking. “So, if they capture Woodford, the contract is fulfilled, but you will be in danger of retaliation from the others.” He looked up at Neal. “June is right; you need to have some kind of protection clause written into the contract.”

“I won’t go back into WITSEC. That’s not going to happen.”

“Neal, dear, we’re not saying you should go into WITSEC, but if you had a new name, it would be harder for them to find you. With a pardon and a new name, you’d be free to take a vacation without fear of reprisal. Paris is lovely this time of year.”

“Paris is lovely any time of year.” Neal took a deep breath and sighed. “Your suggestion makes sense, but what would I change my name to?”

“That doesn’t need to be decided right now. The important thing is to put it in the contract, so when the time comes, there will be no argument about it.” June had a look of fierce determination. She had liked Peter, but he was a Fed first and foremost, and therefore, couldn’t be trusted completely. 

“June’s right about that. We’ll put it in the contract and see if they accept the terms.” The lawyer started putting his papers into his briefcase. “I’ll take this back to my office and get to work on it right away. I should have it for you in the morning.”

“Thank you.” Neal shook the lawyer’s hand before June escorted the man to the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rainy morning brings back memories for Neal. Peter is not thrilled with Neal's proposed contract to take down the Panthers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this might be a little off the wall. In the past, when I've written about Neal's mom, I portrayed her as either an alcoholic or clinically depressed. Neal mentioned in one episode that she wasn't really there for him. Recently I started thinking about what other reasons could have caused her perceived neglect.  
> In this chapter, Neal has memories of his mom, and we see that she was actually very involved in environmental causes. She loved Neal, but endangered owls can't save themselves.

Neal was awakened by a thunderstorm before sunrise the next morning. He hadn’t slept well. He had tossed and turned while he thought about what the lawyer had said. Was it possible the Department of Justice would agree to his terms?

He sighed as he threw off the covers and got out of bed. There was no point lying in bed because there was no way he’d get back to sleep. He put on his robe and walked into the kitchenette to brew some coffee. When the coffee was made, he filled his favorite mug and carried it over to the terrace. 

It was still raining, but it was now a gentle rain. He opened the terrace door and stood there listening to the rain hit the large patio umbrella. He breathed deeply, savoring the smell of the rain-freshened air. There was a scent of pine drifting on a breeze from the park across the street. He pulled a chair over to the doorway and sat down to enjoy the calming sounds and smells. 

A memory nudged the edge of his mind, and he tried to grab onto it. Something about the rain…the smell of the pine…He closed his eyes and took another deep breath.

_‘Come on, Cricket, let’s get going. You know what they say; ‘no rain, no Maine’._

_‘But, Mom, we’re not going all the way to Maine anyway.’_

_‘We’re not here to sleep; we’re here to hike. We’re on an adventure, Cricket, and adventures don’t happen in bed.’_

There it was! His mind latched onto the memories, and soon they washed over him like a great wave. He smiled at the memories of the good times with his mom. 

There had been good times. Had he had a perfect mother? No, of course not. She had always been involved in one environmental crusade or another. She hadn’t been the most emotionally available mother in the world. But he had loved her; still loved her. His biggest regret was leaving home without giving her a chance to explain why she had lied to him. Now that he was older, he understood how it must have been for her. No one understood the consequences of telling a lie better than Neal Caffrey. His mother had done the best she could in a difficult situation.

He remembered overhearing a conversation between two neighbors when he was a child… _“Bessie, why do you mother that child so? He has a mother to take care of him.”_

_“He has a mother, yes, but that hippy-dippy woman is too busy with her environmental crusades to pay much attention to her son.”_

Neal had only been about nine years old, and he hadn’t known what ‘hippy-dippy’ meant, but he could tell from Bessie’s tone that it was an insult. He remembered being hurt that his friend, Bessie, would talk about his mom like that. His mom was not hippy-dippy, he had thought indignantly at the time. Now that he was older, he could admit it; he had a hippy-dippy mom. She may not always have been there for him, but when she was there, she was awesome. 

Neal put his coffee on the floor next to his chair and got up to grab a blanket and a footstool. He settled back into his chair and wrapped his hands around his coffee mug.

His mom used to call him Cricket. She hadn’t always called him that, though. When he was little, he was Danny. But the summer of The Great Adventure, he earned the name Cricket. When he was ten, his mom had taken him on his first section hike of the Appalachian Trail. One evening around the campfire, he had started imitating the chirping sound of a cricket, and a guy named Mooch Man (his trail name, of course) said that was now Danny’s trail name. 

The next four summers found Cricket and his mom, who was known on the trail as Sun Flower, hiking their way up the A.T. a section at a time. The only section he hadn’t done was the state of Maine because his mom had gotten fired from her job at the beauty salon and had to work through the summers after at her new job. 

Neal finished his coffee just as the sun began to lighten the sky over the city. He got up and rinsed out his cup, then headed to the bathroom for his shower. It was time to return his thoughts to the present and face another day of suspicious looks from his ‘friend’ and handler. 

**********************

Neal sat nervously in the chair next to Peter’s desk as his handler read through the contract the lawyer had delivered to him early that morning. 

Peter didn’t look up from the legal document, but at times Neal could see eyebrows raised here or eyes rolled there. Finally, Peter finished reading and looked up at Neal with the look he used when questioning suspects. The look that Neal was far too familiar with.

“Seriously, Neal?”

“Which part makes you doubt my seriousness?”

Peter shook his head in amazement and sat back in his chair. “All of it, Neal. Beginning to end, it’s a crazy proposal. First of all, the Panthers are dangerous, more dangerous than the white-collar criminals you’re used to dealing with. I don’t see how you can even consider risking your life just to have less than a year cut off of your sentence.”

“You don’t see…How can you not see why I’d do this? I want my freedom, Peter.”

“You’ll get your freedom when you complete your sentence. That’s the way the system works, Neal. You do the crime, and you do the time. All you have to do is stay out of trouble for till then, and you’re free.”

“That’s it, is it? As simple as that? You know, when I first went to prison, I figured it would be simple. I was a model prisoner, and I stayed out of trouble. Sure, some men wanted things from me that I wasn’t willing to let them have without a fight. But I was able to talk my way out of situations and offer other things in return. I fully intended to finish my sentence. Do you remember why I didn’t finish my first sentence, Peter?”

“It was because of Kate. She…”

“NO! It’s time to stop blaming Kate. She didn’t ask to be used as a pawn by an agent of the FBI. Fowler used her to get to me. I would have finished my sentence, and you would have never seen me again if it hadn’t been for interference from the FBI.”

“Fowler wasn’t acting as an agent of the FBI when he did that. He acted in his own personal interests.”

“Right. Just as he acted in his own personal interests when, with the support of the Office of Professional Responsibility, he framed me for the jewelry heist.”

“So you think because of the act of one bad agent a few years ago you need to risk your life now? Neal, it’s my job to protect you, and I’m not willing to let you do this.”

“No, Peter. It’s your job to use me and my skills to lock criminals up. Sure, if I get killed, you have a lot of paperwork to do, but you have people to help with paperwork.”

“That’s the way you see this arrangement? Me using you? You do remember this whole thing was your idea. I’ve tried my best to keep you safe when you’ve acted impulsively and gotten yourself into trouble, Neal. This is supposed to be a mutually beneficial agreement. If it’s not working for you anymore, then maybe you should consider the alternative.”

“What do you see as the alternative? Send me back to prison?”

“That’s always been an option.”

“Peter, if I went back to prison now, I wouldn’t last a week before having my throat slit. You’re arguing that taking down the Panthers is too dangerous, but it’s safer than going back to prison.”

“The safest thing would be to chain you to a desk while you work on mortgage fraud cases. Is that what you want?”

“No, because I’m not convinced anymore that that would be safe either. You like honesty. Let me be perfectly honest here; I don’t trust the FBI and the Department of Justice to let me go at the end of my sentence. I’m too valuable to them.”

“Oh, come on, Neal. The DOJ and FBI are all about justice. You committed a crime, and you’re serving your time. That’s justice. When your sentence is finished, you’ll be free to live your life any way you want. If that includes continuing your criminal activities, then we’ll catch you again. It’s not rocket science.”

“So it’s all about justice? Agent Rice turning me over to Wilkes was just the justice system doing its’ job? Or was that the fault of my impulsiveness again? Was Kramer's desire to do whatever it took to keep me chained to the FBI for the rest of my life the justice system at work? The rogue agent who shot me in the leg while I was standing still with my hands raised was a fine representative of the justice system. Refresh my memory…who drew a map so Collins could hunt me down? You see, Peter, I like you, but I don’t trust you as much as I used to. You have lied to me far more times than I’ve ever lied to you. You and I are both more than ready to move on with our lives. Taking down the Panthers could get us both what we want. You could use this to get another promotion. You turned down the job in DC, but if we catch the Panthers, you could get any job you wanted.”

“Your life is more important to me than a promotion, Neal. How can you not see that? Yes, we’ve been through some rough times lately, but we’re still friends, Neal. I can’t let you do this.”

“Friends? It seems to me I remember you telling me that our friendship was a mistake. You said you felt shame for letting yourself forget that I was a criminal. I think we both need to move on, but if you aren’t on board with it, then maybe I’ll take it over your head. I could go to Bruce myself. But, I would think with your concern for my safety, you’d want to be in charge of the operation. Your choice, but don’t think about it for too long. The Panthers don’t seem like the most patient bunch of people.” Neal stood up and walked to the door, where he paused and turned around to say one last thing. “Maybe you should think about what Elizabeth would want. Without me around, you’d all be a lot safer.” He kept his other thought to himself; they’d all be safest if Neal Caffrey was dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who are unfamiliar with the Appalachian Trail (A.T.), it is a hiking trail that extends from Georgia to Maine along the Appalachian Mountains. The trail is about 2,200 miles (3,500 km) long.  
> Neal seems like he would be able to adapt to just about any situation I throw at him, and I like taking him out of his comfort zone, only to find that he is actually comfortable anywhere.  
> As always, I hope you don't hate this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neal moves ahead with his plan to help the FBI take down the Panthers. He does what he can to distance himself from June for her protection. He also begins searching for his mom.

Neal sat on a park bench waiting for Moz to appear. He smiled as he watched the people around him. Mozzie loved clandestine meetings, and he delighted in trying to fool Neal with his disguises. He had never shown his ability to disguise himself to the FBI, though. He wanted the feds to believe he was just a harmless paranoid conspiracy theorist. The truth was that when Moz went all-out, he could have fooled his own mother…if he’d had one. 

A heavy-set man stopped in front of him. The man wore an ordinary suit with a rather plain tie. The thick-soled shoes added a few inches to the man’s height. A slightly rumpled hat sat upon the man’s graying head of hair, and the thick mustache looked amazingly real. The chubby cheeks and double chin were a work of art. 

“Care for a game of chess?” The voice was the only recognizable thing about the man, and even that came with a realistic sounding Russian accent.

“Sure thing, Comrade.” Neal got off the bench to move to a table where they could set up the chessboard. “My name is Nick Halden.” Neal offered his hand as they sat down. It was a test, of course; Mozzie didn’t shake hands.

With a slight grunt of disapproval, Moz briefly shook his hand and introduced himself. “Dimitri. My friends call me Dima.”

They both sat down, and Moz opened his chess case. As they casually set up the pieces, Moz quietly asked, “Why the request for a cloak and dagger meeting?”

“I didn’t say anything about daggers. But, come on, you love the cloak part of a clandestine meeting.”

“Sure, it’s always good to keep current with trends in the undercover spy disguise business. But, seriously, why are we here?”

“I need your help, Moz.”

“It’s Dima, and that goes without saying. What help, specifically, do you need?”

“I’ve made a deal with the feds to help them take down the Pink Panthers in exchange for my freedom. But the Panthers are dangerous. I want to do everything I can to protect my friends. I need to move out of June’s house. Can you help me find a place to stay?”

“I recently purchased a small warehouse and am in the process of converting it into apartments. It’s still a little rough, but you can move in there.”

“Thanks, Dima. Is it within my radius?” Neal smiled as he casually moved a chess piece.

“Of course. Moving should protect June, but what are you going to do to protect The Suit and Mrs. Suit?”

“I’m doing what I can to distance myself from them. Peter likes honesty, and let’s just say that sometimes the truth hurts. I’ve been pointing out that some of the FBI members are lacking in the ethics and integrity department. I told him that he has lied to me more than I’ve ever lied to him, and I don’t entirely trust him anymore. It’s time for both of us to move on.”

“You sound like you mean that.”

Neal sighed deeply. “A part of me means it. It’s all true, but I still love Peter and El. If things were different, I could get over the past, and maybe they could too. But things are the way they are. I had June’s lawyer draw up a contract with concrete terms. If I help them arrest the Panthers, I get my freedom as well as a pardon and a legal name change to protect me from the Panthers if any of them get away.”

“They don’t need to get away. They could get even with you from prison.”

Neal nodded solemnly. “I know. That’s why I’m setting up what June call’s my do-it-yourself witness protection. And that’s also why we need to make it known that June is kicking me out. Maybe we can get Cindy to create a scene in public…slap me and call me a good for nothing crook.”

“Hmm, that could work. Maybe you broke her heart by cheating on her. June will have to give you the boot if you hurt her grand-daughter. You should start packing, and we can move your stuff starting tonight.”

“What stuff? Almost everything I have was given to me by June. If I break Cindy’s heart, I don’t think people would expect me to take anything with me when June kicks me out.”

“So, can you get me into the Panthers too? I’m sure I’d be a big help in whatever they’re planning.”

“No, Dima. I need you on the outside. I still don’t know what their plan is, but if there’s a way to profit from it without getting caught by either side, I’ll need you to be invisible.”

“Of course, moy brat, whatever you need.”

Neal laughed at the Russian phrase for Mozzie’s usual term of endearment, mon frère. “Can you also get me a new computer? I have a personal project I want to work on, and I don’t want to use the computer the Feds know about.”

“Sure, I can get you a computer. Is this personal project something I can help with? Is it something potentially profitable?”

“No, I can handle it. Like I said, it’s personal. But, now that you mention profit…I’ve been thinking, it’s time to sell the bakery. Can you handle that for me? If I end up on the run from the Panthers I might need some cash.” 

“Sure, there have been a few offers over the years. I’ll start by seeing if they’re still interested.”

“Ok, thanks. I need to get going, Dima. I’ll go pack up my few meager belongings and see you later. Dasvidaniya.”

*********************

Two days later, Neal sat in the conference meeting for what would probably be the last time.

“Ok, everybody, listen up. This is probably going to be Caffrey’s last meeting with us. He’s going undercover to catch the Panthers, and it will be too dangerous for him to risk being seen at the Federal Building. He’s going to be moving out of June’s place and…”

“I already moved.” Neal rubbed a hand over his cheek as he remembered the slap Cindy had given him. She should seriously think about going into acting because she had really sold the scorned woman role.

“Ok. Here’s the guy at the top. Woodford.” A picture came on the monitor on the wall. “We don’t yet know why he’s in town, but Neal is going to find out.”

“What about his anklet,” Jones asked.

“We’ll be taking that off for this. We’re going to have to trust him to keep his eye on the big picture here. If we catch these guys Neal gets his freedom early.”

“Even without catching them I have less than a year left on my sentence. A guy would have to be crazy to skip out with just a few months to go.”

“Not funny, Neal.” Peter scowled at him.

“I thought it was a little funny, Caffrey,” Jones mumbled quietly to Neal. Neal moved his arm casually toward Jones for a fist-bump.

The meeting proceeded, and the plan was laid out. Neal was surprised to see the amount of concern shown by the agents for his safety. He’d felt like an outsider since Peter had gone to prison, but now he started to feel like part of the team again. He would miss these people. 

A short time later, he was cleaning out his desk when Jones and Diana walked over. “Hey, guys. What’s up?”

“Well, Neal, when a coworker leaves, it’s customary to say goodbye.” Diana frowned at him.

“It’s time for me to move on. Things can get back to normal for you guys around here.” He started stuffing his rolled-up ties carefully into his messenger bag. He left all of his nice suits at June’s, but maybe the ties would help distract people from noticing the cheap suits he bought yesterday. “And I’ll still see you around. We’ll have to meet up for me to get information to you. And you’re going to have to arrest me with the Panthers to keep my cover when this is over, right?”

“I’ll be looking forward to that.” The playful yet threatening tone in Diana’s voice brought a smile to his face.

Jones shook Neal’s hand. “Watch your back out there, Caffrey.”

“Thanks, Jones. I’ll try. You’ve got the burner phones I gave you?” Jones and Diana nodded. 

Neal reached into his suit pocket, pulled out his Consultant ID, and put it on his desk. He looked up at Peter’s office and waved when he saw Peter watching him. 

It was time. He walked through the doors and got on the elevator without looking back.

********************

Neal went home to his new apartment and found a computer on his kitchen table. He grabbed a plastic fork and sat down with his container of Pepper Steak from the Chinese restaurant. He ate while he started his internet search for his mom. 

Three hours later, and he was no closer to finding her than when he’d started. Maybe he should have Mozzie help him, but he wanted to do it on his own. He’d tried every name he could think of that she might use; maiden name, married name, WITSEC name…they were all dead ends. 

He sighed and started surfing his favorite shopping sites, but what was the point in that? He didn’t see any point in buying anything when he didn’t know where he would be after the Panther case was closed. 

Maybe he should buy some traveling clothes in case he had to run. His fingers froze on the keys. Traveling clothes? No… hiking clothes and shoes. Before long, he was looking at backpacks and tents. 

He smiled. Maybe it was time for him to hike his final section of the Appalachian Trail. He bought the best of everything he would need. Heck, he bought things he wouldn’t need too. 

Next, he started researching current trail conditions, and he stumbled across a trail journal website. There were dozens of people posting updates about their hiking adventures. It was nearly midnight when he discovered a journal posted by someone hiking the Continental Divide Trail calling herself Cricket’s Mom. 

He read all of her journal entries, and by the time he reached the most current entry, he was convinced that his mom wrote it. 

His fingers shook a little as he clicked the tab to sign the journal guestbook. 

_Reading your journal entries brings back memories of hiking the AT with my mom when I was a kid. I look forward to your next update. XOXO, Sun Flower’s Son_

He had found his mom, but would she want to see him again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a little nervous about whether or not you all will like where this story is going. Comments are welcome.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neal makes plans for his future while he begins working with the Panthers.

Peter was in his office a few days later when his burner phone rang. 

“Peter? Things just got complicated. Keller is working with the Panthers.”

“That can’t be. He’s still in a Russian prison.”

“No, Peter, I spoke to him face to face. He’s out and working with the Panthers. He hasn’t snitched on me yet, so I think he wants something.”

“Neal, we need to pull the plug on this mission. With Keller involved, it’s too dangerous.”

“I can’t back out now; they’d kill me for sure. I gotta see this through.”

“Ok, watch your back.”

“Yeah, cuz without you saying that I would never have thought of it.” 

The call disconnected, and Peter called a meeting to give the crew an update.

*****************

The burner phone rang as Peter was getting dressed in the morning. “Hello.”

“Hey, Peter.”

“Neal, where were you last night? You were supposed to check-in.”

“It’s bad luck to check in with the FBI while you’re pulling a heist.”

“Neal…”

“Relax, Peter. I was testing the Braxnet security system for my friends.”

“You beat the Braxnet? Neal, that’s the most advanced system out there.”

“Hmm, it’s a pity they didn’t have my help in designing it. It needs to be better than it is if they expect it to stop me.”

“I believe you were in prison when they were working on it. So, what was the take, and how are we going to keep you out of prison for stealing it?”

“It’s a rare stamp, but I stole it from a black-market auction. It was already stolen property, so it’s not likely to be reported as stolen again. I’m on my way to meet Woodford and give him the stamp.”

“Do you want back-up for this meeting. We could charge them with possession of the stamp.”

“No, Peter. We need to find out what the big score is and bust them for that. This is petty-crime compared to what they must be planning.”

“Ok, check-in as soon as you can.”

“Yes, Dad.”

*******************************

The case developed, and they were able to find out that the Panthers were after a Treasury Department shipment of cash coming back from Europe. Because of the extremely tight security measures, there was no way to plan for the heist. Without the benefit of advance planning, the Panthers intended to use guns and kill anyone who got in their way. Neal needed to find another way to pull off this job, or the FBI would step in to prevent the inevitable loss of innocent lives. 

Neal entered his apartment and found Mozzie hard at work on something. There were wires and lights attached to a board on the table in front of him. 

“What are you doing, Moz?” 

“I have figured out a way to rig the time and destination for the shipment. We’ll pick the time and place for the shipment and have plenty of time to plan a stealthy heist; no guns are needed. Watch this.” Mozzie demonstrated the process while Neal watched over his shoulder.

“That’s great, Moz. Now all I have to do is sell the FBI and the Panthers on the idea.” Neal poured himself a glass of wine and sat down at the table with Mozzie. When he looked over at Moz, he was met with an inquisitive stare. 

“Is there a problem, Moz?” 

“I’m just wondering what your plans are for the future.”

Neal sighed. He had hoped that Mozzie would figure out on his own that Neal wanted to go straight. “Moz, I need a change in my life. I can’t risk going back to prison. All those years of being chased, followed by years of prison and working with the FBI…I need my life back. Moz, if I went back to prison, I’d die there. Even if I could avoid being shanked…I just wouldn’t want to live anymore. I need to go straight.”

Mozzie nodded slowly. “I guess I’ve known that for a while. I just didn’t want to accept it.” 

They were both silent for a long moment. Both were thinking about how it would affect their friendship. 

“I understand your desire to go straight, Neal. I’m sure it’s the right decision for you. But, I still have a question. I was sweeping the apartment for bugs, and I found some stuff that seems a little strange.” Moz paused to take a sip of wine.

“What did you find, Moz?”

“I found hiking boots and backpacking equipment. I also found maps, guidebooks, and a supply of dehydrated food packs. If things don’t go well with the Panthers, are you planning on running?”

“Well, Moz, you know running is always an option for me. You’ve helped me devise several escape plans over the years. But, the backpacking plan isn’t for running. It’s for celebrating my freedom if I get it. And it’s for finding my mom.” Neal got up and grabbed his laptop, and returned to the table. “Look, Moz.” Neal opened the trail journal website and clicked on his mom’s online journal. “She’s out there. She’s hiking the Continental Divide. By the time we wrap up this case, she’ll be halfway through Colorado.”

Mozzie took a few moments to look through some of the journal posts by Cricket’s Mom. Neal’s idea seemed risky. He was afraid Neal would get hurt, either physically, or emotionally if his mom didn’t want to see him. He was also afraid that Neal would find his mom and no longer need old friends. 

“You never mention your mom. I didn’t think you would want to find her.”

“You know what happened, Moz. Ellen told me the truth about James, and I took off. I never gave my mom a chance to explain why she lied, and I feel ashamed of myself for that. That’s why I don’t talk about her much. Because now that I’m older, I can see why she lied. How do you tell a kid that his father is a murderer? I wouldn’t have understood because I practically worshipped him. He was my hero.”

“So you’re just going to take up backpacking and find her? Don’t you think that’s a bit impulsive and reckless? You don’t know the first thing about backpacking. You could get lost or killed by a bear. You could fall off of a mountain. Why don’t you just wait for her to finish her hike and meet her at the end of the trail?”

“I have been backpacking before, Moz. I’m not totally inexperienced, although it has been several years since my last hike. But I don’t want to wait to find her. Some of the best times I ever had with my mom were when we were hiking. This would be the perfect way for us to rebuild our relationship.”

“But if it’s been years since you hiked, don’t you think you’ll hold her back? Look here,” Moz said as he pointed to an entry. “She says here that her group has set a goal of twenty miles a day. I know you’re healthy and fit, but you’ve been a city boy for a long time. It will take you a while to work up to that. You might not be able to keep up with her even if you do find her. And she’s hiking with a group; you’d be alone with no one to look after you until you find her.”

“I’ve thought of that too, Moz. If we can wrap this case up soon, I’ll have time to spend a few weeks hiking in Maine. That will give me a chance to get in shape. I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of my mom and her friends. If I can hike at least some of the Maine section of the Appalachian Trail, it would help me get in shape.”

Mozzie was silent for a few moments, and Neal gave him time to process the new information. “Neal, I’m worried that this might be a distraction for you right now. You need to keep your focus on not getting killed by the Panthers. Let me do the research and plan for what happens after you get your freedom. I’ll read your mom’s journals and see if I can figure out her itinerary. I’ll look into what’s needed to do the hike in Maine. You just worry about the Panthers.”

“Moz, planning this hike to find my mom is a way for me to relax after work. I won’t let it distract me.”

“Ok, well, you know how good I am at making ‘travel plans.’ Would you mind if I work on this too?”

“Of course I don’t mind, Moz. I don’t know what I’d ever do without your help.”

“You won’t need to worry about that any time soon, Neal. I’ll be here whenever you need me.”

“Thanks, Moz.”

***********************

Neal suggested Peter, Jones, and Diana join him at the Greatest Cake for a strategy meeting.

One by one, they walked into the bakery and slipped back into the manager’s office. They sat down around the desk and laid out their files.

“Ok, Neal, is there anything new on your end? Because if we can’t figure out a way to know when the shipment is coming in, we need to pull the plug on this operation. We can’t stand by while the Panthers plan on killing innocent people.”

“We can rig it so we have notice of when the shipment is coming. Mozzie has been working on the problem, and he figured it out. I can take it to the Panthers and tell them we’ll have time to plan the heist without anyone getting hurt.”

“Will they go for that?”

“I can be pretty persuasive. But if they won’t go for it, then you can pull the plug.”

“Ok, do it and let us know. We’ll need time to coordinate with other units.”

“Boss,” Diana interrupted. “I’ve been thinking about the danger Neal will be in if anything goes wrong.” 

“If you think you have a way to minimize the risk Neal is taking, let’s hear it.”

“I think we should kill him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I'm a bit nervous about posting this, but I had fun writing it. I hope you enjoy reading it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Neal does what he can to protect his friends, they, in turn, do what they can to protect Neal.

Neal was the first to speak. “What?”

“Well, we know the Panthers are dangerous. If anything goes wrong…if any of them get away and figure out you double-crossed them, they will kill you. So, if anything goes wrong, we beat them to it.”

“Umm, Diana, getting killed by a friend isn’t really any better than getting killed by an enemy.”

“Well, of course, I don’t mean we’d kill you for real. I thought we could do it Hollywood style. Fake blood pack that would explode when hit with a blank bullet. Discrete body armor for a little added protection. We rush you to the hospital, and they declare you DOA. We’d have a little memorial service for you, and you’d be free to live the rest of your life safe from Panther retaliation.”

Peter nodded slowly. “That could work. Even if we do take them all in, it might be a good plan to keep you safe.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be killed off. Did you think of that?” 

Jones leaned forward with his elbows on the table and gestured to get Neal’s attention. “We all know that people in prison can have someone whacked on the outside. Guys like Woodford have connections. He could arrange a hit within a week of being thrown in prison. You’ve already distanced yourself from June to protect her, and you said she took a trip out of the country, right? You know the way these people think. If you get away, they’ll come after your friends. But if you’re dead…they’ll be happy. Case closed in their minds.”

Peter liked the idea. “Diana, make a few discrete inquiries into planning something like this. The Marshals could probably help. It should be a lot like the work they do to put someone in WITSEC, but without all of the follow-up they usually have to do.” Peter paused for a moment to give Neal the don’t-lie-to-me stare. “When you told me you were going to go straight after you get released, did you mean it?”

“Yes, Peter, once we get through this operation, I’m done with that life. I promise.”

“Ok then, let’s do this.” Peter didn’t entirely believe that Neal would keep his word, but he wanted to. Peter Burke would NOT investigate any future daring art crimes. 

“Does anybody want some pastries before you go? Or cake? We do have the greatest cake.”

Jones never turned down any free pastry. “I would love some cronuts and coffee.”

********************

Neal entered his new apartment and tossed his keys on the table next to the door. He stood by the door and looked around. The loft at June’s place had been perfect for him. He’d loved everything about his home there. This place didn’t feel like home at all yet. He hadn’t had time to buy anything more than the absolute necessities; a bed, a dining table, and chairs. The only thing familiar here was sitting at the table reading a book and drinking wine. 

“Hey, Moz.” 

“How was your day, Dear?” Mozzie smirked at Neal before taking a sip of wine.

Neal was on his way over to the table when he heard a knock on the door, and he froze. 

“Neal, are you expecting anyone? This building is still under remodeling construction, and the main door should be locked at all times. Did you forget to lock it?”

Neal rolled his eyes at Mozzie. “No, I didn’t forget to lock it, but a lock isn’t likely to stop any of our friends…or our enemies. Have you stashed everything important?”

Mozzie nodded and watched Neal walk over to the door. A rush of fear coursed through Mozzie’s veins when he saw Keller stroll in like he owned the place. Mozzie turned to Neal in alarm. “Neal, how could you let anyone follow you here?”

Keller smiled his evil little smile. “Don’t be ridiculous, Mozzie. Neal’s too smart not to spot a tail. I followed you here this morning and then waited for Caffrey to show up.”

Neal was not in the mood to deal with Keller; he never was. “What do you want, Keller?”

“I want a piece of the action.”

“What action?”

“Come on, Caffrey. Don’t tell me you’re not working on a way to screw over the Panthers and the Feds while you’re at it. If you expect me to keep quiet about what I know, you need to cut me in. Otherwise, I’ll have a talk with Woodford.”

“What happened to mutually assured destruction? You already told Woodford I was ok, and I know you’re working with Interpol.”

“True, if you and I protect each other, I’m sure we can both come out of this with enough money to each buy our own island. The question is, why would I want to protect him?” Keller looked at Mozzie with a cold expression. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten that little twerp put out a contract on me. At the first sign you’re trying to cut me out, he’s gonna get a bullet between the eyes.”

Neal didn’t show any expression of fear as he answered Keller. “We do have a plan, Keller. Mozzie is my outside man, and the outcome of the plan rests on his shoulders. If anything happens to him, you get nothing other than a bullet between your eyes.”

Keller laughed condescendingly. “You haven’t got the guts to carry through on that threat. You’re too soft; always have been. But, I can be a very forgiving man for a price. And I’ll be generous and only ask for a third of the take. Just don’t think about double-crossing me. After this is over, you’ll never have to see me again.”

“I’ll look forward to that. Now, if you wouldn’t mind taking your leave…I’ve had a long day.”

“Fine. See you around, Caffrey.”

Neal waited for Keller to leave and then sank in exhaustion at the dining room table. 

“Neal, I’m sorry. I swear I never saw anyone tailing me.”

“Don’t worry about it, Mozzie. I figured he’d show up sometime. I really hope we can come up with a plan to pull this off.”

“You told him we already had a plan.”

Neal shrugged. “I lied.” He sat back in his chair and ran his fingers through his hair. “So, just before Keller showed up you asked how my day was; let me tell you about it. Diana came up with a plan to fake my death to protect everyone from the Panthers.”

“Devious. Diana has always been my favorite Suit. She has a way of drawing her own lines to color in that really enhances the overall picture. She could have been a great asset if she’d turned to the dark side. Tell me more.”

Neal poured himself a glass of wine and filled Mozzie in on the newest developments.

*****************************

It was actually Peter who came up with the idea of using the pneumatic tubes to transport the money. If only he could have turned Peter to the dark side, they would have been a great team. Caffrey and Burke…criminals extraordinaire. 

“Didn’t you tell the Suit that you were going to go straight?”

“Yes, Moz, I promised him I would go straight as soon as this operation was finished.”

Mozzie grinned at him. “The operation isn’t finished yet.”

Neal grinned back and lifted his glass of wine to tap Mozzie’s glass. “No, it’s not.” He sipped his wine and set his glass down. “Have you got the plan worked out?”

“Yeah, it’s brilliant. Let me show you.” Mozzie unrolled the underground tunnels map and showed Neal how they could siphon off some of the cash as it ran through the pneumatic tubes. “It’s our whale, Neal.”

“Do you have a way to launder it? That’s a lot of cash, and things like that tend to make the Feds suspicious.”

“Alex is willing to help for a sizable cut.”

“Do you think we can trust her? She was pretty mad at us.” Neal knew Alex was angrier with him than with Mozzie. 

“She has fenced some of the items from the treasure for me recently. I gave her a generous commission, and I think she’s forgiven us. And we can set some funds aside in case she decides to double-cross us.”

“You fenced some of the treasure? I thought we agreed not to take that risk for a few more years.”

“With the end of your sentence approaching, I thought it would be wise to have some funds set aside. I’ve suspected for a while that you were thinking of going straight and, though I’m disappointed by that, I wanted to be supportive. We both have retirement accounts in the Caymans now.”

“Ok, but I think setting some of this money aside is a good idea. I have a hard time believing that Alex would ever totally forgive me.”

************************

While Neal spent the next few days focused on the plan to catch the Panthers, Mozzie spent hours reading about the trails Neal planned on hiking. It turned out that most people spent months preparing to hike the Appalachian Trail or the Continental Divide. It was just like Neal to rush impulsively into these things. Mozzie took pages of notes and searched through Neal’s supplies to see if anything had been overlooked. Then he made lists of places along the trails that would accept mail drops of supplies. 

It took Mozzie several days, but he finally felt comfortable with the logistics of Neal’s hike. Using Neal’s mom’s online journal, he could even figure out likely places to find her. If he drove Neal out west in his camper van, he would be able to act as Neal’s support crew in case of any emergency. 

But no matter how much planning Mozzie did, there was one thing that remained a nagging uncertainty. How would Neal’s mom react if he did find her? James had hurt Neal badly. Would his mom be any better? As much as Mozzie hated asking any Fed for help, he would do what was necessary to protect Neal.

His gaze shifted from side to side as he approached the apartment building. He made sure he wasn’t being watched before nervously pressing the button to speak to the only FBI agent he felt was trustworthy. After a brief moment, an impatient voice greeted him over the intercom.

“Who is it? And this had better be important.” The impatient voice was accompanied by the ear-piercing cry of an unhappy baby in the background.

“Lady Suit, I need to talk to you about a mutual friend.”

Diana rolled her eyes as she pressed the button that would let the strange little criminal into her apartment building. “Come on up, Mozzie.”

Mozzie didn’t even have a chance to knock on the apartment door before it was opened, and a crying baby was placed into his arms. He hugged the baby to his chest as he made soothing noises and gently bounced the baby up and down. The crying stopped almost immediately, and Mozzie smiled smugly. He followed Diana over to the sofa and sat down.

“Lady Suit, I need your help with something.”

“Mozzie, why can’t you just call me ‘Diana’?” She was clearly exhausted from dealing with Theo’s crying after a long day at work.

Mozzie couldn’t keep the look of surprise from his face. “You never told me I could call you ‘Diana.’ I would never presume that degree of familiarity.”

“Mozzie, you acted as my mid-wife when I gave birth. After that degree of familiarity, it’s silly not to use my name.” 

“Ok, thank you,” Mozzie said awkwardly. “Right…um…I need a favor.”

“A favor? What are you up to, Mozzie?”

“I’m worried about Neal. But I need your assurances that this will stay between us. No telling the Suit I was here. And it would be best to keep it from Neal as well.”

“As long as you don’t ask me to do anything illegal, I won’t say anything to anyone. Now, what is it you want?”

“I need your help to get information about Neal’s mom. He thinks he found her, and after what he went through with James, I don’t want him getting hurt again.”

A look of concern fell over Diana’s face as she remembered the fallout from James' appearance in Neal’s life. “Isn’t she in WITSEC? Mozzie, I wouldn’t be able to find out anything about her without alerting the marshals.”

“It’s possible that she left WITSEC. If you get your computer, I’ll show you how Neal found her. I was hoping you could make discrete inquiries. I don’t want him getting hurt again.”

Mozzie showed Diana the online journal and shared Neal’s plan to find his mom. To say that Diana was surprised at the thought of Neal going backpacking in the wilderness would be an understatement. 

“Are you seriously telling me that Neal Caffrey intends to go backpacking? Neal Caffrey…miles away from his suits, showers, hair gel, and Italian roast coffee?”

“There are many facets to Neal’s character of which you are unaware. Although, I confess I was also unaware of this particular facet. But, yes, he is totally serious. And when Neal is serious about something, nothing will stand in his way. For instance, once upon a time, he was serious about escaping a super-max prison to go to the rescue of his damsel in distress.”

Diana nodded gloomily. “I see what you mean. Ok, I’ll look into it.” She watched as Mozzie looked down fondly at her son. “Mozzie, have you had dinner yet? I was just about to fix something when you arrived.”

“I’d be happy to have dinner with you if you let me help. You must have had a long day. While we cook, you can tell me all about your plans to kill off my best friend.” Mozzie stood up and laid the sleeping baby in the bassinet. 

“The plan is to FAKE the death of your best friend, Mozzie. We want to protect him as much as you do.”

“I’m just glad he’s not planning to fake his own death again. He nearly gave me a heart attack with that shark mauling fiasco.” 

Diana smiled as she let the way to the kitchen. “You mean to tell me he didn’t tell you about that ahead of time? I thought you’d have been in on it.”

“No, he didn’t tell me. I read about it in the newspaper a few hours before he turned up at our hideout…I mean safe house…apartment…”

Diana laughed at Mozzie’s slip of the tongue. “I know what you mean, Mozzie.” She pulled a carton of eggs out of the fridge. “Protecting Neal is almost a full-time job for you, isn’t it?”

“He’s worth the effort. He’s the only family I’ve got.”

Diana was touched by the solemness of the statement. She patted Mozzie on the shoulder. “He’s lucky to have you. How does an omelet sound for dinner?”

“Fine. No cheese for me, please.”

Diana spent two days searching for Neal’s mom before deciding it would be necessary to contact a friend in the marshal’s service. She was able to find out that Neal’s mom had left the Witness Protection program a year after Neal left home, and she was currently using her maiden name, Fiona Caffrey. Fiona’s current address was in Washington state, where she worked as a small-town librarian. There was very little other information to be found on the internet about her. She had no police record and no social media presence. She was as close to being off-grid as a person could get while holding down a job. She didn’t even have any phone or utilities in her name. Her address was a post office box. The only available information seemed to be her trail journal postings, and none of those contained much personal information. Diana passed on her findings to Mozzie. None of the information seemed to ease his worries about the possibility of Neal getting hurt again.

*****************

The day of the heist came. Neal had done everything he could to protect his friends. He trusted Mozzie to handle his part in the tunnel, knowing that the FBI would be focused on the Panthers at the beginning and end of the underground tube. It was very unlikely they’d think to check the middle of the system.

He didn’t worry about the Feds catching Mozzie, but he knew that Keller would be a problem. He had known that Keller would try to double-cross them and get away with all of the loot. But Neal had a plan to protect Mozzie and take Keller out of play too. Since everything was set up to fake Neal’s death, it didn’t really matter who pulled the trigger. The fact that Keller got himself killed was a bonus. He was a murderer, and he deserved what happened to him. 

While Keller lay bleeding on the sidewalk, Neal was rushed to the hospital, where he was declared dead. His body was then loaded into a hearse, and he was delivered to a funeral home where the owners agreed to ‘cremate his remains.’ A quick change of clothes, and he left the funeral home out the back door like a worker getting off duty. Mozzie picked him up in his cab and drove him to one of his safe houses. 

Finally, Neal was able to relax and concentrate on the future. He and Mozzie counted the money and filled a few go-bags with necessities in case of an emergency. He really hoped it was an unnecessary precaution, but he never expected smooth sailing at this point in his life. 

*************************

Two days later, he had a signed pardon and new identity papers. Neal Parker was a free man. 

El placed a slice of birthday cake on a plate and handed it to Neal. “What are your plans for the future, Neal?”

“Well, I sold the bakery last week, so I’ve got a little money set aside. There’s no hurry to get a job right away. I guess I’ll take a vacation. Maybe I’ll hitchhike across Europe or go backpacking. The world is my oyster.” He ate a bite of the delicious chocolate cake and watched their reactions. 

Peter snorted out a laugh. “Backpacking? That’ll be the day. Neal Caffrey giving up his fancy suits and expensive wine for a chance to crap in the woods and get eaten by a bear. No showers, no hair gel. I think Paris is more your style.”

“The name is Neal Parker, Peter. And I wasn’t born in a fancy suit, you know. Anyway, whatever I do, I’ll be keeping an eye on what happens with the Panthers. If it ever seems safe enough, I might come back for a visit. New York is the first place that’s felt like home in a very long time, and I can’t imagine staying away forever.” He started to take another bite of cake put paused to ask El a question. “El, why are we eating a birthday cake. The last time I was nearly free, the cake said ‘Congratulations.’”

“Well, obviously, this is the birthday of Neal Parker. Didn’t you look at your new ID?”

“Not close enough, I guess. Is there anything else I should know about myself?”

Peter filled him in on the highlights. “You’re a high-school graduate, and the marshals even gave you a liberal arts degree from a college in New Jersey. When you decide you’re ready to find a job, the degree might help. I’ve got a file with all the details of your back-story.”

“Thanks…listen, Peter…I really do appreciate everything you’ve done over the last few years. I know there were times when you must have regretted your decision to work with me.”

Peter shook his head firmly. “No, Neal, I never regretted…” He stopped speaking when Neal raised his eyebrows in an expression of doubt. He sighed. “Yes, there were times when I regretted it, but not now. All of the aggravation was worth it.”

“Thanks. And thank you, El, for the cake and for everything you’ve done over the years.”

“Don’t mention it.” El smiled awkwardly at Neal and hesitated. “Neal…I owe you an apology. A few, long overdue, apologies actually. I was unkind to you when Peter was in prison. I blamed you, but I was wrong. I hope you can forgive me.” El stepped forward to hug Neal. “I haven’t been a very good friend to you sometimes. I promise that won’t happen again. If you ever need anything…ANYTHING…you call me. Please.”

“I will. Thank you, El.” Neal took a deep breath and blinked back the tears as he forced a smile. “I should really be going. Thank you both for everything.”

“Are you going to be in town to attend Neal Caffrey’s memorial service? It’s the day after tomorrow.”

“Nah, I think I’ll pass on that. It would be a little too bizarre.” 

Peter put his hand on Neal’s shoulder as he walked him to the door. “Please try to stay out of trouble, Neal. Call us if you need anything.”

“I will, Peter.” 

There was more that should be said, but both men were silent in the seriousness of the moment. Neal walked out of the house out to the street. A taxi cab pulled up, and Neal got in.

“Where do you want to go, Neal?”

“I don’t know, Moz. You decide.” 

Mozzie drove away from the Burkes' house while Neal looked out the window with a dazed, lost expression. He had plans to leave for Maine in the morning, but for right now, he felt lost. After all the years of being chased, followed by the years of being locked up and tethered, he was afraid he didn’t know how to be free. “Let’s get drunk, Moz.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Mozzie drove while Neal stared out the window. When Mozzie parked the taxi, Neal looked at his surroundings and smiled. 

“New Jersey, Moz? This is outside my radius.” 

“The world is your radius, Neal. You’re free.” Mozzie smiled. It was the smile he had when he had the perfect quote for the occasion. “‘Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them, they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.’ Steven King.” 

“Where you’re concerned, I’m more of a homing pigeon, Moz. You gave up a lot of your freedom to help me through the last few years. I’ll never forget that.”

Mozzie nodded while he took off his glasses to clean them. After a moment of quiet, he said, “let’s get drunk.”

The two men stayed up all night talking and drinking, and if Neal’s next adventure was delayed by a slight hangover the next morning…well, so what? He had no one to answer to except himself.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Panthers have been caught, and Neal has earned his freedom. Years ago, he and his mom had begun hiking sections of the Appalachian Trail each summer. Now he intended to hike that last section to celebrate his freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never hiked the Appalachian Trail, but I have dreamed of doing it for years. If anyone reading this has actually hiked the AT, I ask that you forgive any errors in my description of the trail. No amount of research can substitute for experience.

Neal woke up a bit disoriented the next morning. His mouth was dry, his head hurt, and sitting up in bed brought a wave of nausea. It took a moment to realize that he was in one of Mozzie’s safe-houses, and then he remembered why he wasn’t able to return to his own apartment; he was supposed to be dead. 

The day before the heist with the Panthers, Mozzie had insisted on staging Neal’s apartment in case Woodford had somehow escaped and figured out who had betrayed him. Everything Neal would need for his trip to Maine had been smuggled out under cover of darkness days before his final night. If anyone broke into his apartment, they would find leftovers in the fridge and dirty dishes in the sink. A bottle of very expensive champagne sat in a bucket of melted ice as if waiting for a celebration. Mozzie insisted that he couldn’t leave the place clean and tidy because that would look suspicious. Neal hated the idea of food molding in his fridge and dirty clothes mildewing on the bathroom floor, but he bowed to Mozzie’s wisdom in the matter. Maybe his grieving friends would think to clean the place for him.

After taking a shower and getting dressed, Neal shuffled out into the kitchen where Mozzie was cooking breakfast. “Morning, Moz.” He sat down at the table, and Mozzie gently placed a cup of coffee in front of him.

“Good morning, mon frère. Would you like some aspirin to go with your eggs, or would you prefer the Suit’s pickle juice remedy?”

Neal appreciated the quiet tone of voice that Mozzie was kind enough to use. “Just the aspirin, thanks, and no eggs. Dry toast is fine. How are you feeling this morning?”

“Fine, of course; I don’t get hangovers.”

Neal directed a slightly hostile look at Moz but then accepted the aspirin and cold bottle of water offered to him. In all the years he’d known Mozzie, the man had never suffered from the after-effects of drinking. Neal felt that was unfair, but he was also thankful that Moz felt well enough to dispense pain-relieving meds and dry toast. 

“As soon as you’re ready, we can leave for your adventure. That is if you’re sure you don’t want to stick around for your memorial service. I’ve planned a disguise for you that I’m sure would fool everyone. Elizabeth is planning the service, so I’m sure it will be lovely.”

“I’m sure I don’t want to stick around. I’d feel bad if people started crying, and I’d feel bad if they didn’t.” His forehead wrinkled in concern as a sudden thought came to mind. “Mozzie, did you tell June about this?”

“I sent her a message that suggested she not believe every bad thing she hears about you. I told her you loved her, and you hoped she could forgive you.”

“But she still might believe that I’m dead if she hears about it.”

“It’s the way it has to be, for now, Neal. The suit will let her know the truth as soon as it’s safe.”

Neal sighed and took a bite of dry toast. “I don’t like this, Moz. I don’t like letting everyone think I’m dead.”

“Not everyone thinks you’re dead. If you ask me, there are too many who know the truth. You know what Ben Franklin said about secrets; ‘Three may keep a secret if two of them are dead’”.

“They’re Feds, Moz; they can keep secrets. And most of the agents think I’m dead.”

“Well, this is the way it has to be, for now, Neal. Cowboy up.”

“You really have spent too much time with Peter over the last few years.”

“Who’s fault is that?” Mozzie stood up from the table and carried Neal’s plate to the sink. “We should get going pretty soon. I’ve already packed the van and filled the gas tank. It looks like you’ll have good weather when we get to New Hampshire. I still think this backpacking idea is crazy, but if you’ve made up your mind, there’s no sense putting it off. I’ve studied the maps, and I think you should be able to cross the state line into Maine on the second day of your hike.”

Neal sat back in his chair and smiled at his friend. “Thanks, Moz.”

“I may never have been a boy scout, but that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in being prepared. You should reach Mahoosuc Notch on your third day. That’s the toughest mile of the entire trail. You’ll be climbing over huge, car-sized boulders. It sounds like it would be easier to rob the Louvre.”

“Robbing the Louvre might be easier, but there’s the little problem of landing in prison if I fail.” Neal got up from the table and walked to the bedroom. “I’ll go put on my shoes. My mind is made up, Moz. After all these years of having other people control my life, I’m ready for freedom and wide-open spaces.”

*******************

It was late afternoon when Mozzie parked his camper-van in a nice, shaded camping spot. Neal started setting up his tent while Mozzie set up his camp kitchen. 

“Hey, Moz, how often do you use your van to go camping?”

“Not as often as I’d like. You’re not the only one who has multiple escape plans, you know. Just as I visit each of my safe houses in a random pattern, I also take the van for ‘spontaneous’ get-aways so that I am always prepared to evade ‘the man.’ I have everything I need to spend weeks in the wilderness. I also have several license plates handy for a quick change.” Mozzie smiled in pride as he walked closer to Neal to whisper a secret. “And, best of all, the van is covered in peel-away paint. In fifteen minutes, I can change the color from green to blue.”

Neal was impressed at Mozzie’s attention to detail, but he was still skeptical about his friend’s actual appreciation of outdoor activities. “What do you do while you’re camping?”

“The usual stuff. I read, relax, and drink wine. Sometimes, I can find someone to play chess with.” Mozzie lit the camp stove and set a pot of water on to boil.

“You’re always full of surprises, Moz. I would never have imagined you in a campground, using public restrooms and showers.” Neal unzipped the tent and threw in his bedding before zipping the tent up. He walked over to the picnic table and sat down.

“Well, I’m not stupid, Neal. I bring my own organic disinfectants to clean the showers before I use them.”

There was a family camping a short distance from them, and the kids were laughing, screaming, and chasing each other with water pistols. Mozzie smiled as he watched the kids play. “I like the campgrounds because I like seeing how the other half lives. I grew up as an orphan in a city group-home. Mr. Jeffries was great, but I always dreamed of having a real family. Maybe someday I’ll have a family of my own.” Mozzie had a wistful expression as he observed the family. “They don’t even realize how lucky they are.”

“That’s just human nature, Moz,” Neal spoke as he also watched the family’s interactions and took a sip from his water bottle. “Most people miss the blessings in their life because they are focused on things they don’t have. That’s how I lost Kate. I went to Europe with Alex to find that stupid music box when I should have realized how lucky I was to have Kate. Those kids are happy right now, but when they get home, they’re gonna be asking for newer bikes or nicer shoes. And they’ll probably fight over trivial stuff. There’s no such thing as a perfect family.

“My mom and I loved each other, but that didn’t stop us from hurting each other. I felt betrayed when I found out she’d lied to me all my life about my dad. But how do you tell a child that his father is a murderer? She did the best she could. Actually, since meeting James, I wish I’d never found out the truth.”

He sighed and was quiet for a moment. Mozzie waited for him to continue. "You know I want to find my mom, but if that never happens, I’ll be okay. You’re the only family I’ve had for years, and I won’t take that for granted anymore. If I find my mom, she will have to accept that you and I are a package deal.”

Mozzie awkwardly tried to laugh off the emotional moment. “I doubt she’ll welcome your criminal friend with open arms, Neal.”

“If she can’t overlook a few criminal tendencies, then there’s not much hope for me either, Moz. When it comes right down to it, I’m the one who’s been to prison. No one has ever proven that you’ve broken any laws.” 

“Diana came close to catching me. If Theo hadn’t come when he did, I’d probably be on the run or in prison right now.” Mozzie put some pasta into the boiling water and stirred it. “I was terrified, Neal. I’d never have survived prison.”

“We landed our whale, Moz. Neither of us needs to worry about prison anymore.”

“That sounds a little boring, though.”

“It doesn’t need to be. You’re an incredibly talented man, Moz. Have you ever thought of writing a novel? Think about it; you could write a series of crime novels. A brilliant criminal and his young protege rob museums all over Europe. They could have amazing adventures, Moz. And you could travel and plot out the heists.”

“Heists that we are never going to pull off?”

“Well, we don’t need to steal anything, Moz. And it’s never been about the stuff. It’s about the challenge. And writing about it would be a new challenge for you.”

“Actually, I like that idea. I could start writing a novel while you’re hiking. We’ve already mapped out the places I’ll need to meet you with supplies. I’ll have plenty of free time to write.”

They worked on the novel's outline over dinner and talked late into the night. Neal couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this relaxed and at peace.

*********************

Neal hiked along the trail carrying on his back everything he would need for the next week. He thought back to earlier in the day when he had said goodbye to Mozzie. It was silly for him to feel nervous, but knowing it was silly didn’t stop the feeling. Although, maybe it was more a feeling of excitement than nerves. It had been too long since he was free to make his own decisions. 

In the twenty years since he’d last been on the Appalachian Trail, things had changed. The AT was one of the most traveled trails now, and, even though it was early in the season for this section of the trail, he had passed other hikers. Well…actually, they’d passed him. His plan was not to worry about mileage for the first few days. He’d read the same journals that Mozzie had, and he knew these first few days would push him to his limits. 

It was about five in the afternoon when he reached a shelter and decided to call it a day. He laid out his bedding and then sat at the picnic to eat. After eating, he cleaned up and hung his food bag on one of the bear hooks. He sat down with his phone to begin his trail journal. 

_Day one_  
_I got an early start this morning and walked at a steady pace to ease myself back into trail life. But perhaps the word ‘ease’ is not the best choice. The guidebooks and journals were right; this section is incredibly difficult. But I’m not out here to set any records. I’m not even expecting to make it to Katahdin on this trip. My goal, if I have one, is to get trail-fit and enjoy my freedom. M gave me a SAT-phone just in case I want to bail out early, but I’m sure I’m going to be ok._  
__

_The trail is more populated than I expected it to be this time of year, but I guess that’s partly due to the mild winter and early spring. Solitude is nice, but I wouldn’t mind having some company in the shelter tonight. I’m afraid too much time alone will leave me thinking about what I left behind._

********************

Neal’s brain clung to sleep while his body was telling him it was time to get up. He was in his cocoon sleeping bag on the floor of a lean-to shelter. His body ached, and he needed to use the facilities, the facilities being an outhouse with no running water. Why was he doing this when he could have been in a luxury hotel in Paris? 

The voice that greeted him was too cheerful for this time of the morning. “Oh, you’re awake. That’s awesome. I’ve been hoping you’d wake up soon.”

“Hmmnn,” Neal grunted in reply.

The owner of the cheerful voice took his response as an encouragement to continue talking.

“It looks like it’s going to be a beautiful day. I was wondering if you’d mind if I hiked with you for a few days.”

Neal turned his head to look at the woman who was talking to him. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor of the shelter with a cup of coffee cradled in her hands. Her blond hair was cut short, and she looked like she was still a teenager. 

“You see, I was thinking,” she chattered on, “we’re coming to a challenging section, and I would rather not do it alone. I was with a group, but they left the trail a few days ago. Anyway, you look like you haven’t been on the trail very long, and maybe you should have someone more experienced with you.”

Neal blinked a few times and tried to clear his head. He’d been alone in the shelter when he fell asleep and hadn’t heard anyone else arrive. The girl didn’t seem to expect him to participate in a conversation; she just kept talking.

“There were a few other people here last night, but I didn’t want to join up with them. I walked with them back in Virginia, and they said I talk too much. I promise if you and I walk together, I’ll try not to talk too much. What do you say?” She watched him anxiously as she waited for a response.

Neal didn’t say anything as he unzipped his sleeping bag and sat up. He reached over and pulled a sweater out of his pack and put it on. Next, he put on his socks and then stood up to step into his pants. The girl turned her head when she saw him stand up in his boxers, but she turned to look at him again after she heard him zip up. She watched him sit down and put on his boots. “First,” he said, “I need coffee and something to eat. Then we can talk.” He grabbed his camp stove out of his pack and headed out to the picnic table. 

“Ok. I’ll just wait till you’re ready.” She beamed a smile his way and watched while he set up his camp stove on the picnic table and put some water on to boil.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” he said as he walked off toward the outhouse. His head was starting to clear up in the cold morning air. Maybe it would be good to hike with someone for the next few days, and that girl didn’t look like she was old enough to be out here alone. 

He returned to the table to find her sitting quietly as she studied a map. She remained quiet until his coffee cup was half empty and his oatmeal was ready to eat. 

“Are you ready to talk yet?”

He nodded as he spooned some oatmeal into his mouth and motioned with his spoon for her to go ahead.

“Ok, see, I started out alone in Georgia. Along the way, I walked with other people here and there. So, I don’t want you to think if we walk together for a few days that you’re stuck with me, cuz I’ll be fine on my own. I just thought we could help each other out through this section.”

“Are you sure you can trust me? For all you know, I’m a murderer.”

“Well, I didn’t wake up dead this morning; you could have murdered me while I was sleeping if that’s what you wanted to do.” She smiled at him as she sensed he was teasing her. 

“I was sleeping pretty soundly. I didn’t even know you were there.”

“Does that mean you would have murdered me if I’d made more noise?” 

He shook his head and laughed at her. “No, you’re safe with me.”

“That’s good to know. And you’re safe with me. But I should also warn you that I’ve trained in several martial arts forms, and I swing a wicked baton. If you did want to kill me, it wouldn’t be easy.”

“Thanks for the warning, but I promise you I’m completely non-violent. Do you have a name? And how old are you?” Neal took another sip of coffee and ate his oatmeal while he waited for an answer.

“My name is Emily. Some people gave me the trail name Chatterbox, but I don’t like that. I’m nineteen, but no one seems to believe that. I have an ID if you want proof. Although it could be fake, and you’d never know, right? So, that’s not really proof. But, trust me, I’m nineteen.”

“I’m Neal. I don’t use a trail name. And I’d like to see your ID because you look more like fifteen.”

“But, as I said, it could be fake, so what’s the point?” She reached into a pocket of her backpack, pulled out her driver’s license, and handed it to him.

Neal took the ID and examined it. The sun hadn’t completely risen yet, so he grabbed a light to get a better look. She watched him as he tilted it back and forth in the light. He scratched at it and smelled it. He flexed it to test the thickness of the plastic.

“I’ve never had anyone look that close at it. What’s your verdict?”

“I guess you are nineteen.”

“So we can walk together for a while.”

“Sure, let me make another cup of coffee, and I’ll be ready to go.”

They hiked together, and when they crossed the state line into Maine, they stopped by the sign and took selfies together. The next day they climbed over and crawled under boulders in Mahoosuc Notch. It was a very physically demanding experience, and Neal enjoyed every minute of it. 

Neal was surprised by how much he enjoyed Emily’s company. When he met Mozzie at a road crossing, she was with him, and Neal could tell that Mozzie had mixed emotions when he met Neal’s teenaged hiking partner. He seemed happy that Neal wouldn’t be alone if there were an emergency, but Neal knew Mozzie would be doing a background check the first chance he got. 

************************

_Day Seven_

_When Emily and I paired up, it was meant to be temporary. I didn’t feel the need for company. But, though I feared she’d be an annoying companion, she turned out to be a ray of unexpected sunshine. At times I feel like an old man when I look at her youthful exuberance. Other times she makes me feel like a kid again. I think even M likes her._

_Emily and I do have some common ground in our pasts. We both set out into the world on our own when we were eighteen. Similarities don’t extend much further, though. She plans to go to college; she has goals. How different my life would have been if I’d finished high school and gone to college. Sure, I’d have had to work my way through college, but I could have done it. On the other hand, different choices would have brought different results, and I’m happy with where I am now. I can’t go back and do things over, but I can start fresh from where I am._

_It was a good mileage day today; fifteen miles. I was too tired to cook, so I just had PB & J and some snacks. We’re both ready for a good night’s sleep._

***************************

_Day Fourteen_

_My original plan was for this to be my last day of hiking in Maine. I thought I would be ready to head west and search for mom at this point. Emily has pointed out (several times a day) that there will never be a better time to finish my section hike of the AT. So, I will press on to Katahdin. We’re meeting M at a trailhead tomorrow morning, and he’ll take us into Monson, where we can get a hotel room for a night of relaxation before we enter the 100-mile wilderness._

********************

_Day Sixteen_

_M. dropped us off this morning at the same place he picked us up yesterday. He is such a worrier. He’s concerned that I’ve lost a few pounds. I told him I’m fine, but he insisted that I increase my calorie intake. Emily and I just stopped for a mid-morning break, and I found a two-pound bag of M & M’s that he must have stuffed into my pack when I wasn’t looking. Two pounds is a lot of extra weight to add to an ultralight backpack. I guess I’ll have to eat the candy to reduce my pack weight. M is a deviously smart man._

*************************** 

_Day 28 (of a 14-day hike. LOL)_

_Today was AMAZING!!! Emily and I started our hike up Mount Katahdin just before sunrise. M was up to see us off from the campground, and he generously volunteered to pack up our gear for us. Since it’s a day-trip to the summit and back, we just took the necessities in our day-packs. Water, food, and basic emergency supplies were all we carried. The view from the top was breath-taking. We took lots of pictures of the view. Thankfully, we were not alone on the summit, and some other hikers took pictures of us together at the sign on top of the mountain._

_When we returned to the campground to meet M, he insisted we both take showers and change into clean clothes before he would drive us into town. He was acting a bit odd; he had never objected to our less-than-fresh appearance (and smell) before, but I was too tired to argue. After all, acting oddly is M’s normal state._

_M’s suspicious behavior made sense when we arrived at the hotel in Millinocket and found June was waiting for us. She filled me in on all that had happened in New York in the weeks since I’d left._

_It seems too good to be true…Woodford and one of his crew members were killed during an escape attempt from jail. The remaining Panthers are in the process of being extradited to Europe, where they will face a long list of charges. Maybe someday I will be able to return to New York. So many times, I questioned whether I made the right choice when I agreed to help catch the Panthers. Now I believe the risk was worth it, and I can finally put the past behind me. No more worrying that I’ve put my friends in danger._

_M had another surprising bit of news for me. Before we left NY, he asked Diana to help find my mom. I’m amazed that M trusted her that much, but I’m glad he did. Tomorrow, M and I head to Colorado. Using Mom’s online journal combined with Diana’s help, I shouldn’t have much trouble finding her._

Neal ended the journal entry and put his phone on the bedside table. It had been a very long day, and he was having trouble staying awake. He turned off the light and laid down with a deep sigh. It would be tempting to sleep in tomorrow morning. 

He could almost hear his mother’s voice as he drifted off to sleep. ‘Adventures don’t happen in bed, Cricket.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read this story. I hope it didn't get too strange here at the end. I've been going a little stir crazy lately and it must have rubbed off on Neal. 
> 
> As always, I appreciate any comments that you'd like to offer.


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